When the Escape Starts Taking Over: Drinking, Weed, and Other Ways We Numb Out
Most guys don’t start drinking too much or smoking every night because they want to push people away.
Usually, it starts as a way to take the edge off.
To relax. To quiet the thoughts. To turn the brain off for a little while.
A couple of drinks after work.
A joint before bed.
Scrolling or porn when you can’t sleep.
This escape, though:
Helps you feel less in the moment.
And for a time, that’s a relief.
But over time, the reliance on this “relief” turns to dependence real quick.
And what was once a “break” starts to feel like a cycle you’re trapped in. That you can’t cope without it.
And this destroys your self-esteem.
What’s Really Going On
These habits you can’t seem to kick aren’t random.
They’re signs.
Signs that something in you feels overwhelmed, tired, or disconnected.
That life’s gotten heavy — and you haven’t had a safe place to set it down and think about it in a meaningful way.
Maybe you drink because work feels meaningless lately.
Maybe you smoke because it’s the only time your brain slows down.
Maybe porn feels easier than intimacy, where rejection, shame, or performance anxiety might show up.
None of that makes you weak.
It makes you human — someone trying to cope.
But numbing pain doesn’t heal it.
It just kicks the can down the road and ruins your self-esteem in the process.
How It Creeps In
You might notice:
Drinking more than you planned, and waking up feeling regretful and gross
Needing weed just to relax or fall asleep
Losing hours to porn, then feeling empty or self-conscious after
Pulling away from people, saying you’re just tired
Feeling like you’re living on autopilot
You tell yourself you’ll “cut back” — but the next stressful day rolls around, and you’re back at it.
It’s not a willpower problem. It’s a coping problem.
What Therapy Actually Does
Therapy isn’t about judgment or labeling you an addict.
It’s about understanding why you’re reaching for the thing in the first place.
When you can see the pattern, you can start changing it with the right tools.
In therapy, you’ll learn how to:
Increase your resilience and self-confidence
Notice the triggers that make you reach for the escape
Understand the emotions underneath — stress, loneliness, shame, boredom
Build other ways to decompress that actually restore you
Reconnect with what gives your life meaning again, and align your actions with your values
You don’t have to stop everything overnight. We don’t expect you to.
You just have to start noticing — and choose something more meaningful to you, one step at a time.
You’re Not Broken — You’re Trying to Cope
You’ve been doing what you needed to get through.
But you don’t have to live your life this way.
There’s a version of you that feels more present.
More steady. More connected.
You can get there — not by white-knuckling it alone, but by learning how to face what’s underneath.
If you’re tired of waking up with regret or feeling like you’re just getting by.
📍 At Pursuit Counselling & Therapy, we specialize in men’s mental health across Ontario—giving men a practical, supportive space to heal and grow.
